“A hundred days! I can recall the questions that raced through my mind before I decided to jump in: can I handle it? Will I push through when my schedule is jammed? Will I show up everyday, even when it hurts? – especially when it hurts?”
These exact thoughts were running in my mind as I joined the challenge. It was a last minute decision mixed with excitement, fear, doubt, and a whole lot of mixed emotions. Knowing myself, I am aware that I tend to lose my sense of excitement in doing creative things or maybe anything in particular that requires my attention everyday. It makes me think if it will make me a slacker artist in the future. But this weakness was actually the reason why I jumped into the challenge – to develop discipline in handling my creativity. Art takes time and practice and patience. Excitement may die but I hope that my desire to improve in this craft won’t.
Deep breaths, inhale, exhale, and I finally committed myself to create 100 typography works out of my devotions. There were a lot of thing that ran through my mind before I chose this theme. A lot of ideas presented themselves to me, but this one tugged at my heart strings – it became a personal conviction. To tell you truth, I was even trying to work my way around it; thinking of reasons why I should choose another theme for this project, and it all boiled down to the fact that I am scared.
When it comes to sharing His word, there were a lot of times that I hesitated before I post a Bible verse or any realizations online. I was afraid of being judged, being labeled as a religious nut, or worst: not being able to apply this in my life offline. The challenge for creativity began to challenge my faith as well. As much as I tried to resist it these verses kept echoing through my mind (and totally nailed it):
“Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in His glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.” -Luke 9:26
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of God.” -Galatians 1:10
Now that may sound a bit too preachy, but in simple terms this is a way for me to stand up for my faith. I no longer want to feel ashamed when it comes to sharing His word. I may not be a perfect epitome of a Christian but this is my baby steps toward maturity and growth. I will push through knowing that this would help in changing me from the inside out. It is a way of saying “Work in me, as I work with the talent that you have given me.” It’s a personal conviction to dedicate this to Him as early as now. For me to be reminded that the talent came from Him and He is the reason why I keep on keeping on.
It also made me realize that I have a tendency to be proud of my achievements, and I guess it’s time to lose that sense of entitlement. No more time to be preoccupied with the thoughts of being criticized by others or perfection, because my focus should be in Him. If I can’t give glory to Him when it comes to simple things, then how much more if bigger things are to come my way? Glory be to God all the way. And so we begin with the end goal in mind: To be disciplined both in reading His word and practicing the skills He has given me.